Friday, March 30, 2012
Ready...get set....Catch The Buck!
Bear with me...I have been planning this blog for a while so I have a backlog of stories to tell.
On your mark, get set...catch the buck!
Ever tried to wrestle a 250 lb large male goat buck who decidedly does not want to be caught....and keep in mind that you are 5'4, female...and decidedly less than 250 lbs in weight?
Let's just say that your arms will not be able to lift anything for a week, and your face will look like something out of a clown show after being drug through all the lovely piles of manure...fresh manure mind you...and other unmentionable things in the paddock.
However, that said...there is a method for catching such a large beastie when you are not a large beastie, do not posses a lariat, or a handy horse and a lariat...or a handy husband that is currently available for said chore.
Step one: Step quietly among 70 beasties and zero in on your target. Sidle nonchalantly toward to your quarry, and start singing softly. Stop to pat and scratch doe heads as you make your way closer...closer.
Step Two: Once within about five feet from your desired target, crouch down on all fours and start inching bit by bit closer. Keep singing, they like it. Do not make eye contact.
Step Three: Reach your right hand out slowly aiming for Buck's hind leg, never making eye contact, and talking or singing to the other goats who are curiously crowding around wondering what the heck you are doing, and if you have a goody for them. When within four inches of Buck's hind leg strike out fast as lightening and grasp his hock...and get ready for a wild bucking dervish to try to break your arm...hang on as you get dragged through the dirt.
Step Four: As you are being dragged through the muck grasp the halter hanging out of your pocket and swing it up and over his bucking head...try not to snag just one massive horn...get them both or you have to start over! Loop it over his head and...you win!
Congratulate yourself on a job well done...and try to pretend that that was not your rotator cuff that you heard and felt tearing.
Anyone care to try?
I love goats.